Never Tell Anyone What to Do
The Story
At Meta, Boris had scoped out side projects for roughly 5,000 engineers over his tenure. Every week, he’d think of a project idea (on a run, while coding), do some basic validation, then ping an engineer he knew: “Yo, are you interested in this?”
But he never told anyone what to do.
“You never ever want to tell anyone what to do. In any context. In a personal context, in a work context, everyone hates being told what to do.”
Instead, Boris figured out what each person already wanted. Engineers at Meta needed “engineering excellence” projects for their performance reviews but struggled to find them. Boris came along with ready-made opportunities that aligned with what they were already incentivized to do.
“If you understand what a person wants, then you can go to the right person with a right opportunity and they see it as an opportunity. This just always works better for everyone.”
Lesson for Creators
Influence doesn’t come from authority. It comes from understanding what the other person already wants and showing them how your idea serves that goal. Whether you’re pitching a collaboration, selling a product, or trying to get someone to share your content, frame it as their opportunity, not your request. People don’t resist good ideas. They resist being told what to do.
Related
- Beer with the Skeptics Before Pitching the Idea — influence through relationship
- Disagree, Commit, Then Reverse — earning the right to push back
- Delegate What You Love, Not What You Hate — enabling others, not directing them